Robert F. Spada
Room #129, First Floor
Columbus, Ohio
43215
Dear Senator Spada;
When November rolls around, young people everywhere are left in the dust, when their parents line up at the polls. As they get updated on politics when they are watching C-Span, they can’t help but long for the chance to put all of the time they spend watching to use for the greater good, for the chance to get involved, the chance to make a difference. Lowering the voting age to 16 years old, will make a change. Every year, politically aware teenagers are deprived the opportunity to vote, when in numerous places the voting age has been lowered, many young people are involved in politics, and they are mentally and emotionally capable.
Every year the number of 18 to 24 year olds that vote is increasing by eleven percent. In some places, the lowering of the voting age has been put up as legislation, such as California, Florida, and Massachusetts, and in other places, such as New York, 16 year olds can vote in municipal elections. In European countries such as, Germany and Austria, 16 year olds can vote. Places like Australia, Great Britain, and Canada are considering similar plans.
Sixteen year olds are capable both mentally and emotionally to vote. Many 16 year olds have jobs and pay income tax. If they are paying income tax, shouldn’t they have a say in who in the elected person is who makes theses taxes? Furthermore, 16 year olds are allowed to drive, and it is technically legal for them to have sex. For all these laws that are passed, and all the responsibility that is put on them, shouldn’t they have a say in who makes these laws?
There are, however, many people that feel 16 year olds are totally unqualified to make these kinds of decisions, and they will not take any of it seriously. Some wish that it would be okay for 16 year olds to vote, if they were required to take a test that made sure they were capable of this responsibility. The testing of teenagers, which may sound like a good idea to some, has already been ruled unconstitutional. People should trust teenagers more. Most teenagers go to school every day, and there they learn about politics, and different types of government. The number young people that vote is increasing every year. According to Campaigns and Elections Magazine, 73 percent of 18 to 24 year olds voted in the 2006 election. Teenagers are a lot brighter than people make them out to be. For those teenagers that do want to vote, and do want to have a say in government, the opportunity should not be denied.
Lowering the voting age to 16 would be a very wise move. Politics will have a new influence. The opinions of minds other than most adults will be heard. Sixteen year olds are one hundred percent capable of this task. They are capable emotionally and mentally. They deserve the right to vote, that is given to other people their age, just in different areas of the world. All in all, they deserve to use their awareness of politics to help the greater good. Teenagers deserve the right to vote at a younger age, don’t deny them that right.
Sincerely Yours,
Can Anyone Proof My Essay And Give Me Suggestions On Making It Better?
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“The number young people that vote is increasing every year.” Has a word missing, but should be removed as this was already said in the essay, making it redudant.
“People should trust teenagers more.” While technically relavent to the essay, I feel the sentence was placed there to just be there. I believe you should remove it.
“Most teenagers go to school every day, and there they learn about politics, and different types of government.”
I would change “and there” to “where.”
“Teenagers are a lot brighter than people make them out to be.”
Really? To me this sounds like a whine and should be omitted from the essay.
“Sixteen year olds are one hundred percent capable of this task.”
Never use terms or ideas such as “always” or “never.” Saying that teenagers are “one hundred percent capable,” is equivilent to saying “always.”
“They are capable emotionally and mentally”
Rephrase this. You used “They are capable mentally and emotionally” in a different sentence, so change it so it doesn’t sound like that, but still conveys the same idea.
Other than those things that are merely my personal opinion, you essay is very well-written as is.